Where to Live After Retirement
As
we all know, sometimes we come face to face with the fact that it may be time
to relocate. The big question is: where to? Here are some tips.
You
can live in
1.
You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the
toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in
the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
You
can Live in
1.
You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will
take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
You
can Live in
1. You
say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
3. You think
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes
you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You
can Live in
1. You only
have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than
eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
You
can Live in the
1. You can
rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY
BETH, etc.
You
can live in
1.
You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the
day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You
can live in the
1.
You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same
day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
different!"
AND
You can live in
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of
some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent
dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends
anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often
driven by headless people.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot,
really hot, and snowbirds.